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George Haber – Nobody’s perfect. I’m a nobody.

1 March 2014 | $8

I must apologize for calling so late, and I must further beg you to be so unconventional as to allow me to leave your house presently by scrambling over your back garden wall. Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot. Not a word! Into your clothes and come! The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes. Education never ends, Watson. It is a series of lessons, with the greatest for the last.
Every man there go back inside or we will blow a new crater in this little moon. Also? I can kill you with my brain. Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower … somewhat less attractive now that she’s all corpsified and gross. Course you couldn’t buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple. Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction. We live in a spaceship, dear. Next time you want to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face. You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who’s in ruttin charge here. Let’s go be bad guys! Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.

Yes sir, Captain Tightpants! You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who’s in ruttin charge here. Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction. We live in a spaceship, dear. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back! Mercy is the mark of a great man. Guess I’m just a good man. Well, I’m all right. Next time you want to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.

Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower … somewhat less attractive now that she’s all corpsified and gross. Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back! I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you. If anyone gets nosy, just …you know … shoot ’em. Shoot ’em? Politely, of course. Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction. We live in a spaceship, dear. Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle. First rule of battle, little one … don’t ever let them know where you are… WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo! … ‘Course, there’re other schools of thought.

Details

Date:
1 March 2014
Cost:
$8
Event Category: